Ninja Types

Posted on Friday, August 13, 2010 by Non-Fiction |

Non - Fiction
The truth is always in your face

Types of Ninjas
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Before time was created, before the Big Bang begun. Actually the Big Bang was caused by a group of riot ninjas. Before every single thing, Ninjas dominated the world/universe/paper. They are not created by God, they created themselves. After the universe was formed, the Ninjas evolved and have sub-classes. The only sure way to be protected from ninjas is to burn in fire.

Touche'
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Normal Ninja

These ninjas are the most common ones. They do not have attributes, but they have common awesome ninja skills. They can fly, hide, and do a flying knee with their elbows. Normal ninjas use common ninja weapons like shurikens, daggers, knives, katana, smoke bombs, tear gas, and ninjas. They are highly skilled in martial arts and are the ones who created the Law of Physics, they can freeze ice into water, melt water into ice, boil ice, evaporate steam, make water stay as gaseous state in 0 Degree Celsius. The only weakness normal ninjas have is FIRE. Due to the fact that they haven't found a way to freeze fire...Yet. Ninjas can't catch you if you're on fire, but that fact will only be true until one day ninjas can find a way to EAT FIRE. Then spit it out as ice and freeze you instead of burning you. But the freeze is so cold that it burns, ever heard of cold burn? Exactly, as each day passes, the Alchemy Ninjas are closer to their goals in freezing fire.


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Alchemy Ninja

These ninjas work in laboratories in lavatories of laboratories.They are in every single toilet, secretly collecting urine samples and bringing it back to the NINJA (Ninja nInja Ninja ninJa Association) where they try to bend the laws of Physics using Alchemy. But they themselves created the laws. Alchemy ninjas found ways to :

- Freeze ice into water
- Melt water into ice
- Boil ice into water
- Boil water into ice
- Evaporate water into ice
- Evaporate steam into ice
- Melt fire into electricity
- Melt YOU into ice
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Fruit Ninja

As the name suggests, these ninjas disguise as fruits. They are actually the weakest subclass of ninjas, due to the fact that they have exactly the same abilities as normal ninjas. The only passive skill they have is to randomly turn into any fruit once the ninja is not moving. This might be the only special skill but it serves the greatest purpose especially in assassinations. Fruit ninjas are actually the ones who killed Captain Alex.

A basket of Fruit Ninjas. They are very skilled and patient, any fat hungry guy comes near them will die.
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Rainbow-Ass Ninjas

The most useless but attractive ninjas. They can only be found in California eating huge cats. These ninjas have the same attributes as normal ninjas.
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Tetrisinja

The only type of ninjas found in video games. They are Humans, but they can somehow get inside motherboards or circuit boards or whatever boards and screw up your video game. When you are playing Need For Speed Shift, and encounters a curve, tetrisinjas will suddenly throw T blocks into your game. The graphic of the T blocks are exactly the same as your Shift. And it will smash up your car or block your drift. This phenomenon is known as the "Tetris" and can happen to ANY video game.

WOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Electrinja

They are the crossbreeds of ninjas and cyborgs. They can control electricity and shock your ass with it. Beware, they can appear out of any electrical appliances and can use electricity to create their weapons.
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B-ninja

These ninjas are very skilled in Breakdancing and usually kill in style. They will only kill while breakdancing and will never mean any harm when standing still. A b-ninja do not carry weapons, but equip them all over the body. Usually at the elbow, knee, feet, and shoulders. They will do dangerous moves like airflares and cut your face with their feet while spinning. Their breakdance skills are so elite that when they spin too fast, the create a velocity image of 10 b-ninjas each doing different powermoves. All 11 of them will cut you all over your body and when you die, they will all freeze and the velocity images will form into the original b-ninja.


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Ninjew

The survivors of the holocaust, the Jews went to the NINJA and trained. They became ninjews, which are actually just normal ninjas but with Jewish accents.
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Inconvenience Ninja

The most annoying ninja ever. These ninjas will sneak up to you and do all sorts of things to make you have no convenience. They can :

- Fill up your shampoo bottle with glue
- Fill up your glue bottle with shampoo
- Fill up your shampoo bottle with glue bottles
- Fill up your glue bottle with shampoo bottles
- Tie your shoelaces together
- Tie your shoes together
- Fill up your shoes with glue
- Fill up your shoes with shampoo
- Fill up your shampoo bottle with shoes
- Fill up your shampoo bottle with shoes filled with glue
- Fill up your glue bottle with shoes filled with shampoo bottles filled with shoes filled with glue
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Ask-A-Ninja Ninja

The ninja that knows everything, you can ask him almost anything in the world.
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MSNinja

They will appear offline in MSN and then attack you with hurtful words and nudges. A typical scenario will be this :

MSNinja (appearing offline) : -NUDGE-
You : Woah! How? He's offline!
MSNinja (online) : YOU SUCK!
You : DAMN IT YOU.....
MSNinja (appearing offline)
You : FUCK!
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Haxinja

Ninjas specialised in hacking. They can crack into any websites and break through any security, firewalls, anti virus... Using their bare hands. They do not need laptops or computers or any other connectivity devices. They can actually break your antivirus by blowing air onto your computer. They will just look at your ID for a short while and shout out your password to the whole world. They can crack even a 10000bit password within 3 seconds.
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1337 Ninja

The ultimate ninja, nobody can beat this ninja. He can do the impossible but he is the most unfriendly ninja ever. He lives by himself and he kills any ninja approaching his 1337 km radar, that is, anybody within 1337 km near him will be killed. He can travel faster than the speed of light and cannot die. Every 1.37pm, he will fly all over the world and kill over 10000000000 people within that 1 minute before it reaches 1.38pm. The 1337 ninja can actually freeze fire, but he is not willing to share his secret with any other ninja.
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Time Traveling Ninja

These ninjas can travel around time and can never be seen. They hide and live in clocks, watches, anything that tells time. Even the time on the bottom right of your computer. Time traveling ninjas can stop time and kill you. They can stop all time except for you and themselves, then they will stab you with a watch and smash your head with a huge alarm clock. They will do it for a day. But in reality only 1 minute has passed, they will do it for a day REAL TIME. Which means you will be attacked for god damn long and only 1 minute passes although you got attacked for a day.
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ISSUE 6